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11 Ways to Help Your Teen Cope With Traumatic Events

The effects of psychological trauma early in life do not necessarily manifest themselves like they do in the movies. Survivors of traumatic events do not always isolate themselves from others, nor do they always lash out or become violent. The effects do not always happen immediately after either – they came come months or even decades after the fact.

Recent studies on brain plasticity have found that elevated stress hormone levels caused by emotional trauma can cause brain lesions that can significantly impair functions like memory, cognition, and emotional regulation.

While traumatic events can haunt us at any age, there is also evidence to suggest that traumas earlier in life are more likely to be permanent. This may be because the brains of children and adolescents are still in development, and defective brain pathways built earlier in life might be stronger and harder to bypass.

Thus, deviant patterns created earlier in life because of trauma may become more difficult to treat, especially when left alone early on. Drug and alcohol misuse are common maladaptive coping strategies used by younger people with significant mental trauma. Boston rehab centers report that post-traumatic stress and post-traumatic disorder occur frequently among children and teens being treated for substance use disorder. The sooner treatments can start, the better, so it would be beneficial to determine whether a child suffers from PSTD or not. If you are unsure whether your children are suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, you may want to think about taking ptsd quiz to evaluate their symptoms.

While children of all ages are vulnerable to trauma, teens often face issues unique to their age group. Being more mature than children, teens are often treated similarly to adults by their family members and other people that they interact with. However, the way adolescent brains work is very different from that of a fully developed adult.

Teens aren’t just vulnerable to obvious traumatic events either. A lot of the time, this disparity between their appearance and the way that their brain understands and perceives things can lead to people that teens interact with being less careful with their words or interactions.

If your teen has just experienced a traumatic event, below are a few tips and pointers on helping them recover.

1.) Make your teen feel safe

Like any child, teens tend to respond to reassurance. Even if you haven’t hugged in a while, you should probably hug them now. This kind of close contact can reinforce the idea that they are now in a safe place.

2.) Don’t panic

Teens are certainly old enough to be cynical or doubtful about things that adults say. They can also sense panic, which means it’s important to be mindful not just about the things you say, but how you say them. While it may be easier said than done, it’s important to do your best to regulate your own emotions at this time.

3.) Don’t lecture

Lecturing is a surefire way of ensuring that your teen will shut down and ignore what you have to say. Let them start and lead the conversation, if possible.

4.) Make sure they can still enjoy themselves

Distractions are an important short-term strategy for coping with trauma. They can provide a feeling of normalcy, especially if the teen can enjoy themselves with their peers.

5.) Try to maintain familiar routines

Mealtimes, bedtime, house cleaning, and other regular activities should be maintained to reinforce a sense of normalcy. Unfortunately, these may not be possible if you become homeless or displaced. In these cases, new routines should be made. If there are any family rules or traditions, care should be taken to maintain them.

6.) Don’t belittle your teen’s trauma

Just because it seems silly or inconsequential to you, it doesn’t mean that it’s not serious to them. Avoid saying things like “that’s nothing”, or “don’t worry about it” if your teen has expressed very strong feelings about the event.

7.) Get them off social media

You may want to very strongly encourage your teen to get off social media for a couple of weeks or longer. This can be very difficult to do, but try to help your teen understand that prolonged, unrestricted social media use can seriously damage their mental health. If they just encountered a recent traumatic event, unrestricted social media use may be the last thing they need.

To help with compliance, you can tell them that they can still message or call their friends elsewhere or hang out with them in real life. You’ll want this action to be voluntary, in most cases. Think twice before outright banning all their social media use.

8.) Fully acknowledge their concerns

Make sure that your teen understands that you are truly listening to them. They may not understand context in the way adults do, so you may have to verbally say that you heard and understand – or are trying to understand – their problem.

9.) Don’t lie to them

The important thing in helping your teen recover from trauma is to earn and maintain their trust. You should not ask them about their problem to simply mollify them. Don’t tell them that you understand the problem if you don’t, and don’t tell them everything is under control when it isn’t.

Being lied to can compound their trauma and is usually not worth the temporary compliance that you’ll get. It will also make them more hesitant to trust you, which can affect your relationship for the rest of your lives.

10.) Don’t force a conversation

Make sure that any attempt at reaching out to them is done naturally. Forcing a conversation may cause your teen to avoid discussing the event with you. Wait for a good opening if you have to.

11.) Find professional help ASAP

Psychological traumas in childhood and adolescence have the potential to negatively impact the rest of a person’s life. Addressing them early on through therapy can help your teen avoid maladaptive coping habits like drug and alcohol misuse or excessive promiscuity. An experienced professional therapist should be able to work with you and your teen to help find solutions that work for your situation.

While everyone can experience trauma, teens are uniquely vulnerable to it as they are outwardly mature but still essentially children inside, with their brains still developing and still making sense of the world around them. While some trauma is, perhaps, a normal part of growing up, knowing how to deal with them and knowing how to help your children overcome them is an essential part of parenting that is often overlooked.