When you make the decision as parents to get a divorce, it’s never an easy thing to do. This is even more so the case when children are involved. You will probably want to prolong telling them for as long as possible and this is completely understandable. You will have lots to think about, including looking into lawyers and planning the logistics of your new life as a single parent. However, it’s crucial that you have the talk sooner than later. Of course, wait until you get over the initial shock of accepting your relationship is over and then take the time to sort out the law side of things (click here for more info on divorce lawyers), but then it’s best to think about how you are going to tell them. Once you get over the initial shock of accepting your relationship is over, and start , it’s natural to start worrying about how you’ll tell your kids.
The only way that our family can start to cope with the upcoming changes of the divorce is to get started as soon as possible.
Healing from divorce is one of those things that takes time more than anything.
If you are a parent about to get divorced, then take a look at some of these tips for having the talk with your child.
Prepare What You’ll Say With Your Ex
Even though you may be at odds with your soon-to-be ex right now, it’s important to put the kids first. It’s crucial that you come together and develop the best plan of action for how you’ll break the news.
Try to decide on what the main points of the conversation will be. Anticipate any questions that the kids will ask, and be sure to keep in mind that they’ll need to be reassured that it’s not their fault.
Choose an Appropriate Location
It’s ideal to find an appropriate place for your talk. There shouldn’t be any distractions like televisions or other people who might interrupt.
It’s not recommended to do in a public place since there could be a lot of mixed emotions. The last thing you want is to force your child into having a meltdown in front of their peers.
Choose The Right Time
It’s probably not a good idea to arrange your talk right before bedtime or school.
It’s a talk that requires plenty of time for them to ask anything that they want, and process for as long as they need.
Telling them right before they have an important event may distract them and be distressing.
Telling them before bedtime may affect their ability to get to sleep.
Choose a time on the weekend when you have plenty of time to spend together and process it together as a family.
Don’t Be Afraid To Cry
It’s ok to feel uncertain too. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and show your children that this is unsettling for you too.
Sometimes the best way to teach strength and bravery to our children is by being open about our feelings.
In many cases, children are so shocked about the idea of a divorce that they hardly react at all. You expressing emotion may be a great way to encourage them to do the same.
