Nothing is more difficult than helping a grieving friend. No matter how much you love them and want to take away their suffering, there is nothing you can do to stop their pain.

But you can bring them comfort and take away the feeling that they have to face their loss alone.

It is hard, though, knowing the right words to say. Many people avoid saying or doing anything because it’s all so difficult to figure out.

If you’ve lost someone yourself, you have more insight. You can say you know how they feel and actually mean it. You’ve learned, unfortunately, by being a member of the club you never wanted to join.

But even when you have suffered the death of someone you love, no experience is exactly the same. Every grieving period has its own pattern, like a snowflake. There may be similarities, but how we react and recover is as individual as we are.

But you can still reach out and show that you care. Drop by with a heartfelt note and a small gift so that your friend or loved one will feel your support.

1. A Gift Pack

So often those who are grieving forget or can’t bring themselves to eat. Pack up a beautiful basket with your friend’s favorite foods and treats. If they’re a little further away and you’re not able to get to them right away, you could opt for one of the prebuilt gift boxes for women from somewhere like UnboxMe, which contain comforts and treats to hopefully bring a little light into their life. Don’t forget to include a note expressing your love for them and tell them they’re not alone. Let them know you’re ready to talk any time and mean it.

2. A Keepsake Box

Keepsake gifts from laurelbox are the perfect way to acknowledge your friend’s grief and also show you remember the one they’ve lost. Whether you give a “Light in Dark Places” or an “I Carry You in My Heart” box, your friend will take some comfort in your remembrance.

Laurelbox also gears specific gift boxes to a variety of losses, including miscarriages and the death of a spouse. This makes your job of caring for a friend much easier. A keepsake box is a precious gift that will be cherished forever and can also be passed down from generation to generation.

3. Almost Everything

Ann Lamott has been a sort of godmother to the broken and the wretched for ages. Her book Almost Everything: Notes on Hope has some lovely bits of wisdom to ground us in the human experience and give us comfort in times of misery.

Here’s a quotation, to give you a feel for her writing. “The people you lose here on this side of eternity, whom you can no longer call or text, will live fully again both in your heart and in the world. They will make you smile and talk out loud at the most inappropriate times. Of course, their absence will cause lifelong pangs of homesickness, but grief, friends, time, and tears will heal you to some extent. Tears will bathe, baptize, and hydrate you and the seeds beneath the surface of the ground on which you walk.”

Best of luck with your efforts to comfort your friend. Kindness like this is what keeps us all going. Cheers!