Plenty of us will be experts in this field after the year we have had. After professional resources fell short due to the demand the pandemic brought on hospitals and healthcare facilities alike, many of us have had to step up to the ‘caring plate’ as it were, to console friends, family members, and even strangers dealing with their own health issues during a time that is limited in resources and professional help.
If you have not had to support someone dealing with a health crisis so far, but the time has finally come for you to take the baton, then read this piece to find out how you can help.
Listen
We often underestimate how useful just listening to others is. Sometimes it could be that people do not actually want advice, but they do want someone to listen to them get all their issues off their chest. Perhaps they are lonely, frightened, or worried about how their health will pan out. Every situation is different, so as usual there is no one approach that fits all. Depending on where the person is in their health crisis, it can also mean they might be filled with anxiety, depressed on not being able to receive a proper diagnosis or scheduled treatment, or maybe they are having to prepare for the worst. Whatever it is, tailor it to the specific person’s experience. Some will want advice or your input, but some will not. The best way to know is to ask at the beginning of the talk.
For example, ask them if they would like to vent about the problem or solve the problem. This gives you clear boundaries as to whether they just want to talk without any suggestions or might want your advice on creating a plan. Their answer may change as the talk progresses but let them vent first, if that is what is needed.
However, since you are not a mental health practitioner, it’s important to acknowledge your limitations and act accordingly. If you notice that their anxiety is worsening day by day and significantly affecting their daily life, it is wise to accompany them to a therapist specialized in anxiety management to provide them with the support they may need during this challenging time.
Ask What They Need
In a similar nature, humans have a tendency to guess what they think another person might want based on what they would want in a particular situation. If this translated seamlessly, the world would be a much less complicated place! For every person who wants someone to talk to on-hand, there is someone else who needs to have alone time to process things. For every person who is happy to ask for help, there is another that would feel uncomfortable with asking – you get the picture. Take all of the guess work out of wondering what they need and trying to do the right thing, just by asking them. More often than not, you will able to tell if they are just putting on a brave face or not, and depending on how well you know them will determine what angle you take.
Sometimes if we say to someone “Just let me know if you need anything”, it is much easier for those who need help to ignore or dismiss their own needs, as they are then having to make the move. If you suspect this is the case, you can always take the ‘ask’ out of the question by saying something along the lines of “I am going to the store, what do you need?” or “Do you still have all of your essentials?”. This might make a little easier on them to say “Actually, please could you get…”
Be Sure to Take Care of Yourself
We might only be two tips in but taking care of yourself is just as important as supporting someone else, so it is going close to the top! How many times have you heard “You cannot pour from an empty cup?”.
It is not easy supporting others or looking out for them at even the simplest of times which, as we all know, is not right now. Be sure not to suffer from burnout and only take on what you think you can manage, mentally and physically.
It might be that this is a profession you would like to train for or even get a higher education in, in which case it is crucial to learn about self-preservation and care so you can give the best care and support you can provide. If this is something you are interested in, then take a look at accelerated BSN programs so you can advance your career online while doing the job you love.
Do Not Take Things Personally
Perhaps one of the more difficult aspects of providing support to or caring for someone is that it might not always be well received, and even if it is, we all have our bad days even when we are in good health. This means there will more than likely be moments where people lash out. They might be frustrated, in pain, or upset – whatever the reason, it is important to remember that it is not personal. Sometimes when negative behaviors are directed at us it can feel impossible not to feel like it is our fault or it is something we are doing wrong, but just like the wounded dog snaps and growls, people are mostly just scared or hurt.
Keep it Normal
The urge to change your routine, tone, and basically everything can feel really strong when someone is going through a health crisis, especially if they are a friend or family member. You might treat them differently, stop inviting them out to places because you think they will be unable to, or you might feel awkward talking about things that you would talk about before this new change in events. Often, these are some of the worst things we can do. Keeping things as normal as possible for the person you are supporting can not only help to reduce a feeling that their lives are changing out of their control, but it also keeps the responsibility in their hands and actively gives them something to have control over. Try not to make the decision for them about whether they would like to do something, talk about something or be invited to something. While obviously compassion and understanding should be exercised, they are still most likely the same person you were friends with before, which is worth keeping in mind.
